A Open Letter 

  

Hey There: 

Onion! How’s it’s going? I’m fine, in case you were wondering. If not, it is completely fine; no cares for me, anyways. 😦 

Don’t feel upset for me, however. I’ll feel happier in no time at all… just as long as you reply back. 😛

Anyway, I’m here to know, if possible, by any chances, if you, lovely publishing company, would do a newly (old) inspiring writer a chance–and check out his writing? 

I only ask directly because I am in ever in you debt of thanking you for inspiring myself to be a writer/blogger. To an old Irish drunken fool, like myself, I have been writing short narrations and social opinions for just about two and half years. I really took off during and after college days. 

As for the email, it’ll be my long lived dream if I could be contributor for the Onion or ClickHoles (heck, I’ll do both). I would love to be apart of a publisher company that thrives on “farcical” ideas! Can you believe John Boehner cried like a baby in front of the Pope–then quit!–the day after? I know, I couldn’t believe it either. Of course John Boehner doesn’t beat when Dick Cheney favorite holiday is 9/11 (my personal fav). 

I just love writing! 

But guessing by the number of your emails you receive daily, you likely won’t be reading, or for that matter, see this email. Who can honestly be angry with you, though? I am just some random, desperate, lonely Irish drunk who is trying to get a name for himself. However, if there is way I can have a more direct email address, please sure to include one. I am always reading (whatever) email I am receiving. 

I guess what I’m trying to say, wouldn’t it be great if you just hired some old fart Irish off the Internet and give him a chance to be an contributor? That’ll be great! I can see it now: “Hey, Mama, guess what? I’m a contributor for the Onion!” Oh, she be so proud. “My son, a writer, what will he do next? Be astronaut, politician, a doctor, who knows!”

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this little email, and I do hope it has answered many of your questions. If you by chance you asked yourself, “Who is this guy?” I’ll end by saying, “I am only looking for any possible connection you (or anyone) can offer.” Anyway, I hope your endeavors are fulfilled, and I hope my do, too. 
Happy writing and take care. 🙂 

— 

Patrick McCarthy

mrmccarthy.j.patrick@gmail.com

Sent from Gmail Mobile

P.S this is my attend to be seen by millions! get the word out! 

P.S.S thanks for reading! 

Could a Minimum Wage Increase be Plausible? 

After watching the YouTube video “What You Weren’t Told About Minimum Wage?” by Skyler Lehto. The video got me thinking I still have a lot to learn about the national debate of the minimum wage increase. 

From what I personally understand everyone wants a minimal increase, but no one wants to maximum self-fulfillment. 

The way I see it: People want to have a hand out in life. They constantly say, Check please. But when it comes to themselves, they would rather walk it easy. As for myself, I know I want a higher paying job, but I also know I have to earn a higher paying job. 

As for the debate I know this is likely the wrong place to post this, I don’t exactly have a huge following, but this isn’t about the size of the debate–this is about our  progress of self-fulfillment success! 
I am not expert in economics, but I am an expert in communication to come to a form of common ground. 

I may not be an expert in economics, but I do understand hypothesis theories fairly well. According to Giovanni Violante at New York University, he calls the phenomenon skills-bias technological change, which is a shift of production skills that may (or may not) favor technological advancements vs. unskilled labor to keep up the relative demand (abstract).  

I (hopefully) look forward to an online discussion. Thanks and take care. 

Newly Weds Make National Headlines For Last Name Change 

  

Recent married couple has made national headlines on whether or not to change thier last name to Smith or Nguyen. “The idea of being an official Smith,” newly wife Jill Nguyen says, “is very discerning.”

Jill Nguyen, who has been married for 27 days, says she wants to keep her name “alive and well.” She told her husband, now Thomas Nguyen, she would really appreciate it if he changed his name to hers because of the love she has for her family. “It would mean a lot to me and my family.” 

At first, Thomas says he felt a little uneasy about the whole idea. His family, he says, as always wanted keep his family name going. “I don’t know, honey,” Thomas said in his defense, “growing up in a house of three brothers. I feel like I’ll be letting my family legendarily down.” But after a week of no sex and sleeping on the couch, Thomas figure he’ll give it a shoot. “What’s the worst that could happen?” 

While at the Department of Motor Vehicles Thomas and Jill soon realize it was not possible. Apparently, according to the state of Florida, it is extremely unusual for a male taking their counterpart last name. “Why would you want your wife’s name?” the MVA associate said. “Because I love her,” Thomas said obviously, he even explained to the associate he hasn’t had sex in over a week. “I’m sorry, sir, but the rules are the rules.” 

Filled with rage and adrenaline and lack-of-sexual-activity, Thomas seeks legal advice for the alleged unfairness. “I love my wife,” Thomas explains to his lawyer, “and I just wanted to do something special.” 

“Then buy her some flowers, you twent,” his lawyer said. “You already received a letter from the department officer, stating that ‘the laws differs from man to woman’ in the state of Florida. So… according to the law, the DMV isn’t legally doing anything wrong. If your like any change, you’re have to take up with in civil court. I’m sorry.”

After months of waiting and months of celibacy Thomas and Jill finally got a court date. They were scheduled for a January 8 court date where they will be decide whether or not Thomas is in fact able to change his last name. After a quick “full about-face” of the situation, the judge ruled with the newly wed on counts of “absolute embarrassment.” 

A year later Thomas and Jill Nguyen after the alleged unfairness, the two have since moved to the Beaver State – where the people are nicer and society are more understanding. Since then the two are finally in bed together watching jeopardy, and spending their time on deciding “what movie to watch?” 

God Bless America! God Bless Everyone! 

  
In the past couple of days we have seen, I will say with certain, a great man speak about the historical tragedies of our Great Nation. I am of course talking about Pope Francis. 

We know by now his visit was simply put about racial inequality, capitalism, religion, immigration, environmental concerns for our children, and other inequalities to speak. Through his lengthy speech, however, Pope Francis also mentioned our neighbors. Just take a look at what he said:  

 
The Golden Rule is of course, quite simply, empathy–see yourself as you would see from them. We must “view them as persons” like we do ourselves. I speak with concern and highly grown worried about the future of our society, too. How anyone with power can watch their country burn frightens me dearly! 

Notwithstanding however, Pope Francis also mention what makes a great leader. There are others qualities that make up a “good political leader,” but do to convenience purposes, Pope Francis mentioned only the number one rule:

 
Just like empathy a good political leader, according to the Pope himself, is “one who, with the interests of all in mind, seizes the moment in a spirit of openness.” For him he is referring to a political leader will not simply opt out from one political issue if he or she does not share a common ground with the other. He has to be able to listen and interact from both sides, and not just focus on his (their) agenda. 

I guess what I am trying to say is: While there are certain privilege upon us in this great nation, we should not feel discourage to speak bold and firm with our own. And like how Pope Francis end his speech, I will too with: Let the American Dream be filled with progress and fulfillment. 

God Bless Everyone!!  

Washington–There is still talk about the next speaker will be. As of now there is not a likely nominee. 

—–

John Boehner replacement: Resignation triggers all-out leadership scramble – POLITICOhttp://www.politico.com/story/2015/09/john-boehner-resigns-who-will-replace-him-214065

John Boehner Quits After Seeing Pope Francis Claiming “My Life Is Now Complete”

  Washington–In an unexpected turn event, and minutes after Pope Francis visited Capital Hill, John Boehner is expected to quit from Speaker of the House. Under the impression “running a cabin of ring wing conservatives all by your own lonesome is so hard,” John Boehner told his administrations Wednesday. According to sources, John Boehner whispered into Nancy Pelosi back in 2011 as he was being sworn in: “I never wanted this job. I just wanted to clock a few heads here with the People’s Gavel.” Since his miniature inauguration John Boehner has yet to knock a few heads but he has nickname the gavel as “Thor’s hammer Mjölnir.” He told reporters, “Every since I saw the Avengers movie I thought to myself ‘Uh, can I be that cool, too?’ So I asked my wife, and she said I can do whatever I want.” Although John Boehner isn’t only about satisfing the popular culture crowd, there has been a little coincidental conspiracy involving John Boehner planning to leave on the day after Pope Francis visit to the Washington D.C. 

 
We are still looking for appropriate evidence. At press time, it is seen that John Boehner and his team are chatting about the future of the House. It is sounds although that John Boehner said to Joe Biden Jr. “My life is now complete,” while he weeps tears from his eyes, like the baby he is. 

Harvard Student Is Upset When He Realizes He Forgot To Charge His iPhone  

  After searching for the fourth time just to “make sure,” Walter Murray gives up looking for his phone charger. He figures in his anthropology class he left his charger on his night stand, which he probably should have used if he hadn’t been up all night playing Candy Crush. But after noticing his roommate has beaten his high score, it was on! “I couldn’t let him beat me,” Walter Murray said. “It took me long enough to reach a million points, and I’m not about to be owned!” While in his anthropology course, he whistle next to the girl next to him: “Do you have an iPhone charger?” With little discretion, and quiet whistler, “no.” He feels discourage. He won’t, he feels, be defeated. “I can’t let him win,” Walter said to himself. Without a whole lot of options, and a determined score to beat, he walks out of class and heads back to his dorm. After beating his roommates high score, and having a fully charged phone again, he receive a text message from his classmate about “how well did [he] do on the exam today?”