John Boehner Quits After Seeing Pope Francis Claiming “My Life Is Now Complete”

  Washington–In an unexpected turn event, and minutes after Pope Francis visited Capital Hill, John Boehner is expected to quit from Speaker of the House. Under the impression “running a cabin of ring wing conservatives all by your own lonesome is so hard,” John Boehner told his administrations Wednesday. According to sources, John Boehner whispered into Nancy Pelosi back in 2011 as he was being sworn in: “I never wanted this job. I just wanted to clock a few heads here with the People’s Gavel.” Since his miniature inauguration John Boehner has yet to knock a few heads but he has nickname the gavel as “Thor’s hammer Mjölnir.” He told reporters, “Every since I saw the Avengers movie I thought to myself ‘Uh, can I be that cool, too?’ So I asked my wife, and she said I can do whatever I want.” Although John Boehner isn’t only about satisfing the popular culture crowd, there has been a little coincidental conspiracy involving John Boehner planning to leave on the day after Pope Francis visit to the Washington D.C. 

 
We are still looking for appropriate evidence. At press time, it is seen that John Boehner and his team are chatting about the future of the House. It is sounds although that John Boehner said to Joe Biden Jr. “My life is now complete,” while he weeps tears from his eyes, like the baby he is. 

John Boehner Cries After Seeing Pope Francis With President Obama at White House

  Tears are seen while Pope Francis gives his once in opportunity speech on Capital Hill. It is not however Pope Francis tears, it is nevertheless the cry baby himself John Boehner. “I couldn’t help but cry,” he says to the reporters, “when he mentioned my green tie, as he walked in the room, I felt so hopeful again.” According to John Boehner himself, no one ever notices the subtleties of his attires. He wishes “people would notice him more” and not as the Republican front runner in passing legislation as the “Boehner plan!” guy. Although Speaker John Boehner as been known for “pro-business” and “small-government” in equitable affairs, he wants to remind the American people: “I started as a janitor!” Little did Speaker Boehner know, however, an angry mod was right outside the doors waiting for “Boehner’s ass” for being an Connecticut-born Nutmeg! But the cry baby himself was too emotionally stunned by the Holy Mystery sign of hope to care for his own ass! At press time, John Boehner and Joe Biden Jr. are seen together chatting about how “ungrateful President Obama is for not being here.”